Thursday, October 25, 2012

Lasts

As a first time parent, I've always been anxious about Mr Oliver meeting the next milestone. I partly blame this on those annoying baby centre emails I signed up to while pregnant - especially when the 11 month one started with something like 'by now your baby is most likely walking'. As much as my heart knew that my kid was developing normally, I'd see so many other babies the same age who were so far ahead of Oliver in certain areas that I'd secretly wish the next milestone would hurry up and happen already.

When Oliver was laying still, I wanted him to roll. When he was flat on his back, I wanted him to be able to sit up. When he was upright but not going anywhere, I wanted him to crawl. When he commando crawled, I wanted him to crawl on all fours. When he crawled on all fours, I wanted him to walk. And now that he's walking(ish - don't get me wrong, he's not running around the house and needs motivation to take steps but at least now I know he can do it).... I want my baby back! 

Actually that's not entirely true. With the exception of the tantrums (which have actually improved - after some trial and error I found out that Oliver is particularly sensitive to salicylates), I am loving this age. I love how interactive he is, how he wants to play with me, the fact that he gives me hugs and kisses and grins when I enter the room, I love the sound of his voice and how his little mind is just absorbing and learning so many things...

But what I didn't realise in my anxious-new-Mum state, is that each new milestone also means a last of something. A friend pointed this out recently - how we tend to savor the firsts, but not the lasts. We'd love a whole house full of kids (something I never thought I'd want prior to having Oliver), so I know that if our plans are meant to be, we'll go through all these stages again. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel moments of (happy) sadness that Oliver is done with certain things. 

Nothing can really prepare you for becoming a mother. When it all comes down to it, it's a learn as you go job. I make mistakes. My husband makes mistakes. We learn from them. I often joke that Oliver is our 'test' child. I mean that in the best possible way, but so often I'm discovering things that I would do a little differently next time. The big one being - I want to savor each moment more. Stop being so anxious and wishing the next milestone would be here already. I want to sit back, relax and celebrate each stage for what it is - not only a first, but also a last. 

Because lets face it - babies grow up far too quickly!


10 comments:

  1. So true! I reminisced about the "lasts" too: http://supermommyornot.blogspot.com/2011/04/lasts.html

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    1. Nice post, it made me a bit teary! I'll have to remember that second one the next time I complain about changing a dirty diaper :)

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  2. I can totally relate. My son hit all of his milestones early, and I've already told my husband that if our next child tries to start walking as early as our son, I'll just cry. Hah! I miss the baby stage so much. I miss being able to snuggle him for as long as I wanted, and just hold him and stare at his sweet little face. Now, at 2-years-old I get pushed away after a few seconds because he wants down. I know that as he gets older, his vocabulary will improve and I will miss the way he says certain words like "more, please" is "mo' pease!" :) And our dogs name is Copenhagen, but we call her Cope, and he calls her "dope". Haha. So with each stage brings exciting changes, but I'll definitely miss the lasts too. :)

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    1. I think it would be even harder when they are an early walker, walking really seems to be that transition between baby and toddler. Dope is a really sweet (and funny!) nickname for your dog, that one will stick around for years to come I bet!

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  3. Amen to all of this. Motherhood is so tough on our hearts!!
    I am interested to know what you mean by Oliver being sensitive to salicylates? (I actually don't even know what that word is, so i'm really in the dark! ha) How did that affect his tantrums?
    xox

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    1. I didn't either actually until about a month ago. After my Mum witnessed one of his meltdowns on skype, she was talking to my sister who mentioned that boys can be particularly sensitive to salicylates - found in a lot of fresh fruits. Oliver was eating tonnes of blueberries, raspberries, strawberries and grapes every day (he loves fruit!) which are known to be quite high in it. People with salicylate sensitivities are known for it to affect their moods/behaviour. I decided to try eliminating these fruits for a couple of weeks and the change in his behaviour has been pretty dramatic. He was having major tantrums (with kicking, biting, screaming, just losing it over nothing) multiple times a day, now (although he still does have the odd tantrum being a toddler :) ), I feel like I have my happy boy back. When he does meltdown, it's not as out of control. I've been talking to a few people about it and doing some reading and apparently it's a common thing for some kids to be more sensitive. It's been interesting finding all of this out! How is Cruz going with his tantrums? It is such a challenging time :(

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  4. Newest follower here! I found you through the Friday link up! Cute blog, I can’t wait to read more!
    -meandmr.com

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  5. So so true and so poignant with the milestones of my third (and last) baby. I'm in no hurry to see him running around just yet.

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    1. I can only imagine what it'll be like when it comes to the last baby. As exciting as it is to see them grow up, sometimes it'd be really nice to slow things down a little.

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