Thursday, April 11, 2013

The battle of the bulge continues...

It's been awhile since I posted this - scarily, almost six months... I wish I could say the motivation lasted, and I was feeling super happy with myself for the summer but sadly it's not the case. It's been a rough season. A combination of being sick off and on since that awful bug at Thanksgiving and cold winter mornings (I mean, who wants to de-ice the car at 6am) meant that my trips to the gym became few and far between. Not to mention all my over indulging on little tubs of heaven Ben & Jerrys...

Right around when we moved house, I had been feeling really unwell. Physically (which for me affects how I'm feeling emotionally). I was overtired and bloated. I could feel that something was off with my body and my fitness levels definitely weren't where they used to be. My clothes didn't feel the same. Then one day, I was having afternoon tea at Ghiradelli and the button popped straight off my jeans as I was just sitting there. Mortified (although, able to laugh it off - thank goodness I was there with good friends!), I realised I desperately needed to make some lifestyle changes - or, buy a new wardrobe...

I got brave and weighed myself. I wanted to cry. I've never really been one to get hung up on what the scales say - after all, muscle weighs more then fat, but the inability to button my previously loose jeans without laying flat on the bed hinted that this wasn't muscle. I was the heaviest I've ever been in my life (non pregnant) and for the first time, I felt truly unhappy with my figure. Worse even then after having Oliver - I was one of those very lucky people who lost all the baby weight really easily (sorry). I think all the cycling and walking I used to do in Holland probably made a difference, but all the pregnancy weight was long gone by the time Oliver was only a few months old. So, it was a shock to have a kid that is nearing 2 and be looking & feeling worse then when he was a tiny bubba.

On that woeful weigh in day, where I wanted to pretend I never hopped on the scales and hide in the pantry eating my 'emergency' chocolate stash and telling myself whatsthepointyoureonlygoingtohavemorebabiesandputitallbackonagain, I instead gave myself a good kick in the butt and decided to make some serious changes. I realised that if I didn't make some changes NOW, they may never happen as I will just keep giving myself excuses. So, I started exercising again. I started watching what I ate. Not restricting, but instead making sure I wasn't eating empty calories and instead filling up on healthier options. I started doing some reading into what exactly I'm putting into my body and you know what, the ingredients in some foods are downright scary (this is what kicked off my motivation to make Oliver's snacks myself, instead of giving him processed foods).

Heck, I even bought a jogging stroller - and used it! Yes, me who DOES NOT run. Ever. (Note: running lasted all of one week until my old knee injury flared up. Gah. I was actually really enjoying it too! Now I'm trying to re-build the strength in that knee, slowly so I can run again). This is the most motivated I have ever been in my life and although I've fallen off the bandwagon a couple of times, I'm starting to see some results. The bloating is gone. My face isn't as full. I can go longer on the elliptical without feeling like I'm dying and push more weights. Hey, I can even run a short distance. I've still got a ways to go, but I can at least go out in public without fear of popping buttons off my jeans.

It's definitely a work in progress, but I am starting to feel healthy again. I am starting to feel better about myself. I am starting to believe that one day, I WILL have the strength to hike those Himalayas again...


The battle of the bulge continues...

9 comments:

  1. I have felt the same way lately. Tired of being tired is the best way I can describe it. I got winded dancing w A today. Fail!

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  2. I feel the same way! I recently signed up for Body Back bootcamp for moms, and it's twice a week at nighttime. It's BRUTAL, but I've been feeling so much better, and more motivated. I'm on week 3 and was told that I already lost some and loving the way my clothes are all big is keeping me motivated. It's getting so hard, especially now that it's SO HOT here in Florida alreayd. :(

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  3. Good luck! Totally here ya on the feeling worse than right after you have a baby. I lost all the weight really easily, but then when I started back at work I gained about 10 pounds. So frustrating to know you looked (and felt) better when you had a newborn. One day at a time... :)

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  4. lots of love lu! the button popping off must have been a funny/ahhh moment!

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  5. I'm totally in the same boat. I lost all the baby weight within a month, but for some reason I look & feel much worse now than I did when I had a newborn. It's not just my weight... it's my hair, nails, skin, just FEELING icky and gross and tired... everything is rebelling against my poor diet and lack of exercise! I really need to get back in the swing of things... ugh. The problem is I've never been good at motivating myself to exercise, ever in my life... and chocolate is my downfall. I look forward to my little chocolate treat breaks all day long... haha! But seriously. What are your self-motivating tricks?! And what kinds of exercise do you do that doesn't involve running? I have ankle/knee/hip issues that stem from slightly uneven legs so running always gets me in trouble.

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  6. Good luck and all the best in your fitness regime! You can do it, don't give up. ♥

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  7. I know the feeling. I feel like I have spiralled a long way down from how fit I use to be and it feels like ther is a huge mountain in front of me to try and get fit again. Plus trying to find time to even exercise is a whole other story. I'm with you on this one.

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  8. I know the feeling. I feel like I have spiralled a long way down from how fit I use to be and it feels like ther is a huge mountain in front of me to try and get fit again. Plus trying to find time to even exercise is a whole other story. I'm with you on this one.

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  9. Oh I feel your pain! I weighed the least I have since I got married after I had Jonte. Lost all the prego weight plus more (thanks to post natal depression and basically not eating)...then after I got better it started to creep back on, a kilo here, a kilo there, now he is 2 and there's 8 kilos more of me to love ;)

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