Saturday, July 11, 2015

Seasons

Life is changing. A new season is upon us having moved out of the baby + toddler phase and onto something new altogether. Two busy boys; a preschooler and a toddler. Gone are the days of leisurely park visits where I could chat to my friends while the baby was baby strapped to my chest and my big boy playing independently. Now I'm running around, chasing the littlest as he so desperately tries to keep up with his big brother.

Before having Austin, friends with two kids used to say how hard it was having two. How much busier life was and how crazy it was to get out of the house etc etc etc. I never understood. Secretly, I probably thought they were over exaggerating because even one child (really) is hard work. The fact is, you simply can't comprehend what being a Mum to more than one kid is like until you experience it for yourself. Daily. With no break. There is a certain element of craziness that gets added to an already busy life. Sometimes when I reflect on that past season of my life; mother of an only child, I wish I had appreciated the simplicity a little more. Perhaps napped while he was napping. But naps aside, I wouldn't change the craziness that is life with two kids for anything. Life is harder but life is so full of joy. And now that we are moving out of the baby stage with Austin, things are getting easier with the two boys. They play together. They annoy each other more but there are more and more sweet moments. There is something really special about having two boys, brothers and I'm loving watching their relationship develop.

And in the midst of this new season, I feel like we have a lot of decisions to make. We're both in our 30's now. I feel like that phase of our life where we could just globe trot and move from job to job, country to country has come to an end. Oliver is fast approaching school age. School age. He's due to start kindergarten (prep) in 2016 and that blows my mind. We have three years left on these particular visas. We love our life here, but if it wasn't for the job and our community, I'm sure we'd already be back in the motherland. Australia. The land that as I get older, I long for more and more. Travel is always going to be a part of me, I have a wandering soul and itchy feet and I love nothing more than an adventure. But I'm also at the point where I'm longing to move into a season of settling; finally putting down some more long term roots for our little family.

Sometimes I feel frustrated because I don't know what's ahead of us. I can reflect on seasons past and enjoy the current stage of life but I always think two steps ahead and wonder what next. We have so many hopes and wishes for our family but no concrete plans. I'm a planner, an organizer and it can be hard for me to not know exactly what's going to happen in the next year or two. For a few short weeks this past May, we were thrilled to discover one of our hopes was a reality and we were to become a family of five. Sadly, that dream was dashed far too soon as we experienced another season of loss. One miscarriage truly is enough for a lifetime so to walk that path for a second time hasn't been easy.

I guess what I've been learning this year is that life is never static. Some days I feel like I can hardly keep up with the changes. But you know what, life is sweet. Life is hectic but life is good. One thing I have learned since becoming a Mum is to appreciate each and every phase because it really doesn't last for long. And with each and every changing season, I'm learning more and more to just live and let God. I might not know what exactly is in store for our little family, but I'm sure going to try and make the most of it :-)



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