Saturday, April 2, 2016

Boy mama

Boy mama. That's been my identity; the noisy, smelly, cars-n-trucks filled parenting club I've been a part of for the past four and a half years. It's still sinking in that come May, I'm going to have a daughter in addition to our two crazy but sweet boys. It's a strange thought after being a Mum to only boys for this long and to be completely open and honest, it scares me a little. Babies are babies, but once she gets older? I won't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm still learning as I go on the job with this parenting thing especially as we keep reaching different stages, but I just feel much more confident raising boys. It's all I know.

I never thought I'd identify as a boy mama. Honestly, when I was pregnant with Austin - I just assumed he'd be a girl. Isn't that what people do? You have a boy first, then you get 'your girl' (or vice versa). Pigeon pair; one of each and you've fulfilled society's expectations! Stereotypical nuclear family dynamic done and dusted. Although I came around to the idea of having two boys pretty quickly (and wouldn't change our particular family dynamic for the world), I never imagined myself to be a boy mama. I didn't grow up with brothers, or even male cousins really - I'm not only the youngest of four daughters, but the youngest grandchild on both sides. My cousins were having kids when I was just a kid myself so we didn't really grow up together, not just because of location but also age difference.

So, having two boys was a shock to the system. Not a bad shock by any means, but still a shock. Although it's a different story nowadays, I wasn't a super girly girl growing up; I was an equestrian, the horsey kid and lived in the saddle, but still - this is a whole new world... And lets face it: Boys. Are. Crazy. Just like being a mama to all girls or to both genders - being a mama to all boys is unique and special in it's own crazy, energetic way and I honestly believe it's something that only mothers to all boys can truly understand. It's a whole different dynamic raising brothers. And as excited as I am about baby girl, I wouldn't change having two boys first for the world. There is something so special for them having a brother close in age to identify with. Like anyone, we've had our challenges with different developmental phases over the years but I am so ridiculously proud of my boys. Ollie in particular has really grown and matured over the past 6 months and has taken on a real big brother role with Austin - he's super protective and wants to teach him things. And Aus just adores his big bro - after they haven't seen each other in awhile (even just a few hours), they run up and greet each other with big hugs. Genuine hugs. I love watching them play and interact and seeing their relationship grow. My boys aren't perfect by any means; they're flawed human beings like the rest of us, but in my heart of hearts I know one thing to be true: I have 'good' kids. Sweet, kind hearted boys who love their family and their friends wholeheartedly.

When we decided to (finally) start a family back in 2010, neither Mitch nor I ever had a preference for a boy or a girl; we just wanted a baby. When we started trying for a third once Austin turned one, we went into it just assuming that another pregnancy would result in us having our third boy. And that was perfectly ok - I mean, I LOVE having boys, as crazy as it can be some days! Once you've had two boys, you just can't imagine life any other way. Honestly, my biggest fear if we had a third boy was having to deal with people's reactions. When I was pregnant with Austin, people often responded to his gender with 'Oh, I'm sorry' or 'better luck next time'; like having two boys is a fail. This time around, I've been on the opposite end of things and honestly, it's been just as annoying sometimes. I've had complete strangers exclaim 'PRAISE THE LORD' when they've inquired as to the gender of my growing bump or telling me that I must be done now just because I 'finally got my girl'.

Finding out that this little one is a girl floored me. It's like my whole vision of our future with this troop of boys went out the window. Honestly, I just didn't think I'd ever have a daughter (and had come to terms with that long ago). Although we truly were happy either way, this little girl is such a blessing and I came around to the idea of our littlest being a girl pretty quickly. I don't even know quite how to explain it, but it goes far deeper than the novelty of cute pink clothes and bows. We had to walk through the heartache of loss again to have this sweet baby girl in our family, but I wouldn't change her story for anything.

And the boys... The boys of the family couldn't be more thrilled. Ollie had been predicting this baby was a girl since the day we told him he was going to be a big brother again and has really surprised me with the extent of his excitement over baby sister and all her little pink clothes. Austin is naturally still clueless, but that's to be expected of a two year old. He pats my belly and exclaims baby! But I know it's going to be a shock to his sweet little system when he becomes the middle child. And Mitch... Oh, how I can't WAIT to see my guy with his daughter!


Sweet baby girl, we all can't wait to meet you :-)

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1 comment:

  1. Oh, I can definitely see how it would be annoying to have people's reactions with having two of the same gender in a row. Babies are a blessing no matter what the gender! And you will do great with a girl. I was a little scared of having a boy first, then scared of having a girl, but it's just like anything with kids, you figure it out as you go. (Also, don't listen to all those people who claim girls are harder. I don't think that's true.)

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